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Insults and Put-downs
for everyday use - Heckler Put-downs
I'll
let you off. I remember the first time I tried beer.
You're
quite cute. What
can I get for a twenty?
The
anonymous alcoholic, ladies and gentlemen!
I'm
impressed; I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before
Congratulations;
you're a perfect argument against brother-sister marriages.
That
can't be your face. Did your neck throw up?
Ick.
What a disgusting slob. Somebody call security; we've been invades by killer
slugs.
Hey,
I didn't know you could get epilepsy without a brain.
You've
heard about the good time had by all, ladies and gentlemen - and here she is.
You
know, your mother is really good in bed - but I guess you found that out for
yourself already.
This
may look easy to you, but I assure you your mother is even easier.
When
you were born, did they let your mother out of her cell?
I heard your mother had an abortion, and now I see it's true.
I
went to the ice cream parlour round the corner, and the special of the day was
your mother. 1 had three scoops, in a cone.
That's
a low blow - and talking of low blows, how's your mother?
Tell
me, how many Peeping Toms has your mother cured?
What's
wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
Look
folks - a face not even a mother could love.
Now
we know why some animals eat their own children.
What
do you want to do if you grow up?
I have a child's soul - in a special jar back home.
I
bet you get bullied a lot.
Say,
you're really special, aren't you.
Look,
this is my job. I don't turn up at your work and spit on the burgers.
Let me guess - tonight's square dance was cancelled, right?
Excuse
me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I started yelling down
the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?
Where
are you from? I'm sorry? No, I heard OK I just pity you.
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