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Insults and Putdowns
for everyday use - Pick up Putdowns
Man:
I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.
Man:
Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm one of the nurses at the VD clinic.
Man:
I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account and credit cards.
Man:
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there any more.
Man:
Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man:
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Woman: Waiting for some idiot like you to come along and bore me to tears with
pathetic lines.
Man:
Your place or mine?
woman: Both. You're going to yours, and I'm going to mine.
Man:
So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man:
Hey, come on baby, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
Man:
Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: No parking.
Or: Danger of death.
Or: No Entry
Man:
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man:
So, d'ya wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man:
Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Thanks, I'll have champagne. Leave it at the bar for me and I'll pick
it up later.
Man:I'm
here to fulfil your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you can lend me a donkey and a great dane?
Man:
Your body is like a temple.
Woman: There are no services today.
Man:
If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw YOU naked, I'd die laughing.
Man:
I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Wonderful Will you stay there, too?
Man:
I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man:
I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap, nasty gifts.
Man:
I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You're so right. I want you to go away.
Man:
Hey babe, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
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