How to be Insulting on the Telephone

In the days before STD was introduced a businessman in Leeds was making a number of long-distance calls in connection with an important deal. He phoned clients and associates all over the country and ended up with a quick call to New York. When he finished he asked the operator for a breakdown of the charges. When he heard the final sum he was outraged and told her that she must have made a mistake. The operator checked her figures but assured him that they were correct.

'It's outrageous,' he bellowed, 'I could phone Hell for less than that.'

There was a short pause and then the operator came on the line again to say:

'Yes, that's quite correct, sir. Hell would be a local call.'