How to be Insulting on the Train

Excuse me, I think the room your child wants is at the end of the corridor and I think it wanted it about thirty seconds ago.

I'm so sorry, I thought this was the restaurant car. I didn't realize they carried livestock in this part of the train.

Of course I don't mind standing. I dare you to try and sit in there for five minutes.

Wouldn't it have been a good idea to buy a ticket for your suitcase, then you wouldn't have to keep getting up all the time, to see if it was comfortable on the rack.