From the TV Series Red Dwarf

From Meltdown

Rimmer: Anyway, to cut a long story short I threw a five and a four which beat his three and a two, another double six followed by a double four and a double five. After he'd thrown a three and a two I threw a six and a three.
Cat: Man, this guy could bore for his country!

Cat: Who were those guys?
Lister: Well the short one with the stupid 'tache was Hitler, and the jerky one with the child molester glasses that was Goebbels; suppose the fat bastard must've been Goering. Must've been. He was a cocaine addict and a transvestite {some thing}. If things'd worked out different he had the makings of a major movie star.

Hitler: Hands up, pig dogs!
Lister: Think I've just worked out were we are.
Hitler: Get the machine!
Cat: (Lister and Cat are led out of the room.) You seriously telling me he's a transvestite?
Lister: Yeah...
Cat: With those hips?-Cat

Lister: I think he was a famous Roman Emperor. He slept with his mother, both his sisters, and ended up eating his son.
Cat: Hey, a little advice, bud: we all feel peckish after making love but most of us settle for pizza.

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