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From the TV Series Red Dwarf

Episode - Dimension Jump

Rimmer: I don't know what it is about me. All my life, it's been the same old story. It's not easy, you know, to come in every night, look in that mirror, and see a guy nobody likes.
Cat: How do you think we feel? We got to look at it all day!

Rimmer: You know- You know your trouble, Kryten?
Kryten: What, sir?
You're a git.

Rimmer: You don't like Reggie Wilson? What? Not even "Pop goes Delius" or "Funking up Wagner?"
I prefer something slightly more melodious, like the long, drawn-out death rattle of a man suffering from terminal flatulence.

Rimmer: "Commander Rimmer!" I ask you. "Ace!" Barf city. I bet you anything he wears women's underwear. They're all the same, this type, you know, Hurly-burly, rough-and-tumble macho marines in public, and behind closed doors he'll be parading up and down in taffeta ballgowns, drinking mint juleps, whipping the houseboy.

Ace: What a team.
What a team!
Rimmer: Now I know where I've seen you two! Weren't you the double- action centerfold in July's issue of "Big Boys in Boots?"
Ace: Now, look here, Arnie. You can say what you like about me, but I won't hear a word against Skipper here.
Rimmer: Skipper?
Ace: A man like him deserves a nickname. I thought "Skipper" sat rather well.
"Ace and Skipper?" You sound like a kid's TV series about a boy and his bush kangaroo!
Ace: Don't listen to him, Skipper. Let's get this tea chest back up into the stars and back to the small rouge one, eh?
Rimmer: Yeah, the sooner we get back the sooner you two can climb into a nice, hot, soapy bath and play "spot the submarine."

Rimmer: Right. He probably got to go to some really great school, while I was lumbered with Io House. He got to meet all the right people, greased his way up the old boy network, towel-flicked his way into the Space Corps, Masonic-handshook his way into flight school, and brown- tongued his way up the ranks.

Lister: (To Rimmer) To think that in every dimension, every possibility is played out -- hell, there's probably a really, really weird dimension where you're better-looking than me.

Ace: Him and me. It would never work. I just can't stand to be near the man. To see myself so warped, so bitter, so weasely. The man's a maggot.
So where're you going to go?
Just out there. I can't go back, But there's a billion other realities to explore. A billion other Arnold Rimmers to meet. Maybe somewhere there's one who's more of a pain in the butt than him. But I doubt it.

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