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From the TV Series Red Dwarf

Episode - Better than Life

Lister: You've got the skutters to help you.
Rimmer: What? Pinky and smeggy Perky? What use are they? It's like giving Blind Pew contact lenses.
Lister: They only do what you tell them to.
Rimmer: Ah, but they don't do they? You say, "Keep an eye on that lamb," and they do. They sit there for three hours and watch it burn.
Lister: So. They've got no emotion have they? It's not built into their software.
Rimmer: you seen their broom cupboard? It's full of pin-ups of John Wayne. That cannot be right can it? (Indicating shoulder height) Piled this high with Film Fun magazines. It's not the way spanners behave in my book.

Rimmer: (to Lister)You send off for every bit of rubbish going, you do. Just so you'll have some mail to open.... (Silly voice) Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals. Yes I am over eighteen, though my IQ isn't.

Rimmer's Dad: I just wanted to tell you
Rimmer: Yes?
Rimmer's Dad: I just wanted to say
Rimmer: Yes?
Rimmer's Dad: I just wanted to say-- (pause) You're a total smeghead!
Rimmer: (Looking shocked) What? This isn't my fantasy!
Cat:
(Coming into view) No, it's mine.


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